Monday, July 27, 2015

I smell

"I smell," my daughter says as she crinkles her nose. And she begins to cry. "I smell poop." It's because Mommy tooted, little one. My farts are so stinky they make her cry.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015


It was a warm day, and he had a long way to go. He hadn't gone more than half-way when a sort of funny feeling began to creep all over him. It began at the tip of his nose and trickled all through him and out at the soles of his feet. It was just as if somebody inside him were saying, "Now then, Pooh, time for a little something."

Anisa has started to occasionally ask for something. When she says, "Mom, I want something, pleeeeease," or, "Mama, can I have something?" she scans the kitchen counter and the top of the fridge in case she sees a snack she wants up there. By something she really means a treat. Hello, Nisa-the-Pooh?

"What about a mouthful of something?"
Pooh always liked a little something at eleven o'clock in the morning.
- from Winnie-the-Pooh by A. A. Milne


My baby is slick! I took him shopping with me and loaded the cart all around his carseat, which I placed in the middle, with groceries. When we got home, I found a triangle of brie cheese tucked under his blanket in his seat. We apparently snuck that one out of the store. Good one, son. Good one.

Bad car, ma

We've had the worst car karma this entire calendar year so far. Cars crashed by "friends" and strangers, cars broken down. . . The front of our house is starting to look like a wrecking yard. Please put a good word in to the car gods for us. We need this trend to reverse itself. Or, solution pictured?

Monday, July 6, 2015

Dander zone

You know you need to plan a serious intervention when your baby gets snowed on as you lean over him for a little bit of coo-nversation--you know that infant-mama back-n-forth? I saw the dander falling on my baby's perfect skin as I smiled at him from above and thought, oh no. This dandruff problem I have is out of hand. And guess what. I gave into a TV ad and got myself some Head & Shoulders shampoo. (They should be paying me for this.) In the shower, still with the foam in my hair, I became the girlfriend handing her boyfriend the shampoo with a disapproving face and simultaneously her man closing the shower curtain and reappearing with a huge smile and a smooth scalp. Surely enough, the shampoo worked instantly! I mean, where did all those truckloads of dandruff go (besides on my baby's belly)? It's truly a mystery. I'm a convert now. Head & Shoulders is pure magic at work.

Saturday, July 4, 2015


This is the awkward stage when I still look five months pregnant, my boobs are big enough to feed an army of babes, and my hormones are wreaking havoc on what used to be a head of thick, luscious hair. Ladies and gentlemen, I am afraid I'm going irreversibly bald. Will you still love me in a wig?